Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in smirkingatyou's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, July 1st, 2008
7:30 pm	My First Day As An Intern I got little sleep last night. I arrived at 4 AM. I got lost looking for the resident work room. We all got humiliated by the attendings. When I got home, I found cat vomit on my carpet, my new couch and my grandmother's blanket. Tomorrow I arrive at 3 AM. In order to get enough sleep, I have to be in bed within an hour of arriving home. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, June 29th, 2008
8:49 pm	I thieved this from Christine. Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People Right Now: 10. I want you to be unhappy, and I don't know when that will change. 9. I'm afraid that if you know more about me then you'll worry about me or that you won't like me. I'm sorry. I'm trying to change. 8. I wish we'd spent more time together. 7. I wish we were closer. 6. I'm so worried about you. 5. It is possible to be happy. I hope you figure out what you need. 4. You continue to impress me. 3. I struggle to imagine a horror I wouldn't visit upon you. 2. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. You are cooler than you think you are. 1. You are better at what you do than I am at what I do. Nine Things About Myself: 9. I am afraid of being weak. 8. I'm afraid that I won't be a good doctor. 7. I have a birthmark on my right buttock. 6. I am a very picky eater. 5. I wish I knew more about cars and computers. 4. I am embarrassed about my appearance, but I avoid complaining about it. 3. I want to have more money. 2. I want to have more tattoos. 1. I miss having an exciting romantic life. Eight Ways to Win My Heart: 8. Make me laugh. 7. Be able to back up your beliefs. 6. Let me show you affection without things getting weird. 5. Show me affection. 4. Be intelligent. 3. Be good at something interesting. 2. Put some effort into changing the things you don't like about yourself. 1. Be honest. Seven Things That Cross My Mind a Lot: 7. I wish I wasn't so angry at ex's. 6. I have no one to blame but myself for a lot of problems in my life. 5. I wish I saw my friends and family more. 4. I wish I had learned to play the guitar and piano. 3. I wish I had never stopped studying martial arts. 3. How attractive am I? 2. Will I be the doctor I want to be? 1. Is my bohemian-esque life over? Six Things I Do Before I Fall Asleep: 6. brush teeth 5. take meds 4. pee 3. tell the cats that it is time for bed 2. undress 1. set the alarm Five People Who Mean a Lot: 5. my parents (I'm counting them as one entity for the purposes of this survey.) 4. Brian 3. Christine 2. Heather 1. my brother Four Things You're Wearing Right Now: 4. jeans 3. tshirt 2. boxer briefs 1. um . . . a look of contemplation, I guess Three Songs That You Listen to Often (Currently): 3. "Until It Sleeps" -- Metallica 2. "Hey Jupiter" -- Tori Amos 1. "1234" -- Feist Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die: 2. become smarter and stronger and stay that way for as long as I can 1. find and maintain love One Confession: 1. I tend to hold grudges for a long time. (Comment on this)
Sunday, June 15th, 2008
1:19 am	I met a new neighbor tonight. I didn't catch it's name. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 11th, 2008
4:16 am	I can't sleep, again. I wish I was in Europe . . . in some dirty hostel . . . in some country where I didn't speak the language. I think I'm happiest when things are difficult. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 10th, 2008
2:18 pm	If the zombies attack . . . Stolen from Pallidbat You are in a mall when the zombies attack. You have: 1. One weapon. 2. One song blasting on the speakers. 3. One famous person to fight alongside you. Repost in your LJ with your Answers. 1. crowbar 2. "Somewhere Over The Rainbow/Wonderful World" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole 3. Milla Jovovich - She seems to know what she's doing. (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 15th, 2008
1:08 am	I am a nerd. Also, I have good news. Tonight on the Daily Show, Jon Stewart commented on the results of the West Virginia democratic primary. Clinton won. Stewart said that Clinton beat Obama so soundly that the difference between their respective percentages of the vote was enough to beat Obama by 15 percent. I only listened to Stewart from another room, so I didn't see the actual numbers. I did the math. Algebra skills . . . I still have them. In an unrelated matter, I now have a place to live in Knoxville. Yesterday, I signed one-year contract on a single-bedroom apartment. It is only 5 miles from the hospital, which is great for convenience and saving money on fuel. It is also a gated community, which is good for safety. My apartment also has a balcony that overlooks the pool. This allows me to choose a private time to swim so that cute young women don't see my flabby pale physique. Self esteem about my appearance . . . I still don't have it. For graduation presents, my parents helped me furnish my new place. I am still in shock over this. Let me explain. I love and respect my parents more than I am willing to say here. They are amazing people. While I don't like the idea of role models, I have always been impressed by these two. I have always tried to prove to them that they have raised me to stand on my own. As such, it is difficult for me to accept help or gifts from them. Unfortunately, the result is that I am sometimes flooded with anxiety and embarrassment when I accept their offered generosity. These feelings are more intense when I have to ask for their help. I'm trying to learn to accept generosity and help without immediately feeling inadequate or shamed. So now I will move into a new home with new stuff in a new city to start a new job. This is a very strange and exciting time. (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 6th, 2008
5:47 am	Butt Pillow Posterior-Pedic (Comment on this)
5:08 am	Crossing Fingers I am scheduled to graduate on Friday. One of the things I have learned in my medical school career is that bad surprises happen. As far as I know, there is nothing else I need to do or sign in order to graduate. However, I can't let myself relax until after I walk across that stage. Also, I didn't sleep much tonight. I wasn't tired before I went to bed, so I took a lunesta. They are supposed to help you sleep for 7-8 hours. Normally, they work for me. However, tonight I got about two and a half hours. I have to be in the hospital at 7. Luckily, I don't have to be there more than a few hours. Firefly has been keeping me company. I added a few new userpics. Enjoy them. (Comment on this)
4:41 am	Gonna Post Here More I'm going to used this to mirror my myspace blog. (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 3rd, 2007
2:10 pm	I Am Not Here. i only use this site to comment on my friends' pages.  if you know me, contact me on myspace.  if you don't know me, i probably don't want to hear from you. (1 Comment |Comment on this)